{"id":1425,"date":"2016-09-12T22:11:46","date_gmt":"2016-09-13T03:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/?p=1425"},"modified":"2016-09-12T22:11:46","modified_gmt":"2016-09-13T03:11:46","slug":"begin-as-you-mean-to-go-on-or-why-im-willing-to-quit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/?p=1425","title":{"rendered":"Begin as you mean to go on, or why I&#8217;m willing to quit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes I run into people online wondering whether they gave a book enough of a chance.<\/p>\n<p>These people are often writers, and I think there&#8217;s a component of &#8220;I want people to give me a chance, or, if possible, an infinite number of chances&#8221; in this reaction. But there&#8217;s some sense that if you don&#8217;t like a book (or even just don&#8217;t love it) and quit reading it after a few chapters, you might have been unjust, you might be missing out. It might get better.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t have this. If I bounce off a book on page one, that&#8217;s where I bounce. If I read half of it and decide I don&#8217;t care about the characters, if I notice that I&#8217;m consistently coming up with other things to do rather than reading this book, I&#8217;m out. And I&#8217;m totally, completely fine with this. Because the beginning of a story has a specific function, and it&#8217;s not to tell you what came first. You can write the beginning of a story that&#8217;s not the beginning of the events quite easily&#8211;it&#8217;s done all the time. And why is it done all the time? Because the beginning of the story is there to draw you in <em>and tell you what kind of thing you&#8217;re dealing with<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>So&#8211;take, for example, the movie I bounced off recently from the library. It was filmed in the 1940s, and it started with a racist joke and continued with at least four minutes of sexual harassment. I know, times were different then, different things were accepted by polite society, blah blah blah&#8230;but the point is, they were harassing the living <em>shit<\/em> out of this woman, by the standards of <em>this viewer<\/em>. And I say &#8220;at least four minutes&#8221; because I turned it off, I was done.<\/p>\n<p>Did I miss out? Maybe. Sometimes if you dig through a dumpster you find someone&#8217;s wedding ring. But it&#8217;s still okay to say, &#8220;I don&#8217;t feel like digging through that dumpster is going to be worth my time even if there <em>is<\/em> a wedding ring in it.&#8221; An article I read (in the Journal of I Read It Somewhere Studies) had the staff of their magazine watch the first ten minutes of movies, write down how much they thought they&#8217;d like them, and finish the movies. And if I recall correctly, they were only wrong in a single-digit number of cases.<\/p>\n<p>Here is why: the beginning sets expectations. That&#8217;s what it&#8217;s <em>for<\/em>. It says, here is the kind of story you&#8217;re reading. Even if it&#8217;s a deeply subversive story, it sets out what kind of thing is here to be subverted. When a movie starts with a racist joke that is, as far as I can tell, completely incidental to its premise, that&#8217;s telling you something. It&#8217;s telling you that this is the sort of thing the people who made this movie find funny. It&#8217;s totally okay to say, you have given me this data, and I have learned from it; I am stopping here. This is why the early episodes of <em>House<\/em> featured some really graphic medical scenes: they were letting you know, if you are going to be grossed out by the medical stuff, this is <em>not your show<\/em>. Thank those people for their clarity of vision and move on.<\/p>\n<p>What about quitting in the middle, though? Well, look. Sunk cost fallacies are hard. Humans are, generally, neurologically, <em>terrible<\/em> at getting ourselves out of sunk cost fallacies. Even if you&#8217;re aware of this, it doesn&#8217;t always help. Last week I caught myself thinking, of the book I was reading, that I heard rumors that the series was almost done, so I would probably only have two or three more books to read before it was over. Not regretfully. Just in the way that you would think, &#8220;I have to wash sheets and towels and delicates, so that&#8217;s three more loads of laundry before I&#8217;m done.&#8221; <em>No one assigned me these books<\/em>. I have read some in this series before. I can go pick it up again if I really want. But if it is not being worthwhile to read <em>now<\/em>, it doesn&#8217;t matter that I&#8217;ve already read one or two or six or however many.<\/p>\n<p>Reading isn&#8217;t just a process of discovering what happened, because I could just <em>ask someone who read this book.<\/em> It&#8217;s the experience of reading. If that experience isn&#8217;t going well for you, go ahead and read something else. Why not? If no one is paying you money and you&#8217;re not in love with the author&#8211;I mean, literally, actually <em>in love with the author<\/em>, not &#8220;in love with&#8221; as a colloquial way of saying you enjoy their work very much&#8211;the fact that you are not happy with this reading experience, right now, in a larger way than just one paragraph or scene making you go meh: I hereby give you permission to get out. You don&#8217;t have to finish desserts that taste bad, and you don&#8217;t have to keep reading books just because you&#8217;ve already read a hundred or two hundred pages of that book, or 1600 pages of that series. You are free. Run like the wind. Run to a different book. There are several out there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes I run into people online wondering whether they gave a book enough of a chance. These people are often writers, and I think there&#8217;s a component of &#8220;I want people to give me a chance, or, if possible, an infinite number of chances&#8221; in this reaction. But there&#8217;s some sense that if you don&#8217;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13,34],"class_list":["post-1425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-full-of-theories","tag-i-can-in-fact-quit-you"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1425"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1457,"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions\/1457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marissalingen.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}